29May(11.43pm) i m so sick~!

Haiz... feeling so uncomfortable the whole day with running nose n sore throat... even until now still feeling abit blurr.. saddest thing is bf like don care at all.. regret spending my time taking care of him n now suffering myself.. Wanna give him 1 mth time to think wat he wan but he don wan.. donno wat he wan now.. everyday go home so late den tok to him awhile he say tired!! sian le.. really sian liao.. n i told him if one day i m sick n tirede of waiting n waiting i will give up.. feel so vexed! donno wat can i do.. feel so heartbroken

28 May 12.41 His off day...

Hmm.. Today was quite busy at work cuz i have lesson today.. After work, he come and fetch me and we went to causeway for our dinner at Yoshinoya.. After that we go shop for awhile den we went bck home and i went to his hse to accompany him.. i started to tok to him how i feel tis few days, or maybe mths.. Haiz.. hope he really understand what i tell him.. sian!! tml got course haven do my homework.. Yawnsss.. so tired!!

When he is sick 26May

Haiz.. he so is sick that i have to go take care of him.. sry bong for leaving so early =)) While i was taking care of him, i cried.. because that is the only point of time he is weak and he need mi to be there for him.. His temperature was 38 deg then, but around 2am den his temp drop to 37.3.. i confess to him tt i still drink alcohol when he is asleep but he ans n i was shocked! LMAO!! actually i wanted to tell him y i drink is becuz i feel so sad cuz he spend almost half day on sun(which is his only weekend off day)with his colleagues and he has no idea how i feel .. i waited for his off day on weekend very long liao but he spend it with his colleagues.. Whenever i feel sad i will drink as to let myself sleep better..hmmm.. anyway hope he will recover soon.. ^^

What i wanted to say long ago~

Alamak dey... Haiz.. finally i start blogging now while all my frens has been doing for donno how long .. i wanted to start blogging cuz i wan to noe wat is my mood everyday and wat did i do on tt day. Donno y n donno since when i stop being myself.. i have been cheating myself to stay cheerful everday and tell jokes to my fren. What exactly is my feelings?? Haha.. Nobody noes..

Slowly when i start to get older now, i find that no matter how i treat a person gd, regrdless friends, colleagues or even my closes ones~~. i always get nth.. nobody really go appreciate what i have done.. There's is THREE things that have left a scar in me, one is my sister, one is my ex(close fren should noe) another is my love... I use to be very close with my sis whereby we can share everything tgt last time but now our relationship is worst as we no talk to each other.. Haiz.. hmm... as for ex, hai hao la.. of cuz got gd memories left behind.. he did left mi some gd memories like making laugh with his jokes n crap.. he is the 1st guy whom i love so much, but ya maybe we r fated to be tgt but not forever.. what i miss most with him is that we go to sch tgt,do our project tgt erm is like almost everyday we see each other at tt time.. that's too much to say.. no matter what i can rmb every single things we shared tgt..

Lastly my love one now.. can't say that he is the perfect one i ever have but what i can say he has nv ever make mi cry since the day we r today, but of cuz i do cry for happy day like my birthday, and his ORD day. Till now i can say he still dote mi but not as much as b4 =( .. ever since he ORD seems like things do turn different but i can understand cuz he finally have his freedom.. i can say i am a very good gf as i don't control what he do n wat fren he mixed around but don cross my limit of cuz.. In this 3 yrs & 2mths plus relationship, wat i miss most now is when he is in NS where i feel love n someone being there for me.. i really really really miss those days.. As for now, we has meet each other n spend time tgt lesser n lesser tat i feel so empty sometimes.. i always try my very best not to talk about tis to him as i don wan to stress him cuz i noe that after his work he is already very tired.. Pass few mths he did something tt dissapoint mi alot n i was very very damn hurt at tt time till i can't believe he did something wrong. He is sry for what he did n i promise to forgive him.. What i hope n wish is tt hope he will be my last guy in my life.. i hate to find news guys n i m not interested in any guys anymore.. I love u my dear~