THings wouldn't be the same.. 4.30am

Now i realised that no matter what things is done, it won't be so easily to erase it away anymore.. months & months have pass.. forever the pain will follow me.. nothing can amend.. =(

juz like the how those drama show once hurt, tt person won't be so easily forget things tt hurt her deeply till someone who really can care just like a guardian there to show concern for her.. my tears just like a water pipe, whenever u wan it to be on,it will be on and it will flow.. i cant control it.. 7 days more to my BD.. i can predict tt it will never be as happy as my 18th &19th birthday... everything have change..y is it like tt.. i don really wish to celebrate.. if i got the money, i would go oversea to be alone.. this blog is just like my diary.. whenever i m sad or happy i will write it here as no one will see it.. i just find it hard to tell someone.. what i know is i felt very hurt inside me...

*Pondering* 2.05am

Hiaz.. juz feel like blogging today.. cuz i feel so empty and nobody to talk to.. 21st birthday coming liao.. i still donno what i want.. its 2st lei!!! y don i have the mood... =( if i got a chance, i would rather celebrate it oversea to take in some fresh air.. leading my life so miserably... donno what i can do.. i just wat to be happy and cheerful everyday.. where am i?? i m lost..

It would be great if the time can goes back and i might chose a different route.. its too late to regret now.. whenever i think of the saddest things it will my my heart ache... is there anybody can pull me out?? pull me out to somewhere which i can clear my trouble... very tired of feeling unhappy.. i really need a long break.. y is it so many things happen on me and stall all in my mind to upset me.. wan to cry sia... =( Sometimes i really want to use alcohol to make myself asleep but that not the way.. after tt incident, i will try to control myself already..

I wish to cry out LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!

blablabla...

Hmmm tis few days accompany my dear dear cuz he juz got an accident.. poor him.. haha!! haiz have been quarreling ever since he ORD.. sometimes did thot of giving up as alot of things happen.. haiz.. donno wat to say and in the beginning i have drink alot juz to let myself sleep better. well, in the end need to see doctor cuz i drank too much.. after tat i don drink so far cuz scare liao haha.. juz hope tat he would change and wont make me sad again.. if not he will not be sorry =x

:)

hmmmm... been so long since i last blog again... tis few weeks were so down as something happen at my workplace... sian lei.. don feel like working there anymor liao, but i will really miss the kids alot!!!lucky during end of july me and my dear went for chalet at sentosa to relax ourselves.. sad ar.. who can understand how i feel.. now i rather work at GAP batter.. miss all the GAPsters!! haiz.. wan to cry liao!!! :(

Very sad...

Aiyo.. tis few days i just feel like crying.. very sad and stress.. so much things has happen and i donno y.. i really wanted to have some time for me to be alone.. i cant take it anymore!! i wanna go bali!! i wan to go there and relax myself as all the people there are stranger to me.. wish everything can refresh and start all over again.. alot of why in my life.. sad!! why is my life like tis??

Don wanna let my mind sleep... 1.50am

Just want to write what i can rmb before everything is gone... It was so funny, today i almost overslept in the train as i was dreaming while listening to mp3.. rmb how i met 'u'... rmb that i will go down to mac and find u when i m free.. u were even sleeping in the storeroom and donno that i m there and watch u sleeping so soundly.. funny was everything that flashed in my mind were the happy moment.. went to movie which i donno is a set up by who and how i scold u.. =) Forever u won't know how i pass that 2 years w/out u beside me when i m down, when its valentine's day and all he holidays... luckily i m independent enough, didn't rely on anyone and never ever blame whoever...

I m sure that the coming chal wont be the same as before.. I was wondering what to do.. i have always thot that i have found something precious to me already but i can't confirm now.. i hope to gather all the good memories to cover the bad ones but is difficult.. those good memories is starting to fade away slowly from my memories.. Gonna turn 21 and i donno wat i want yet.. though i m feeling very miserable, down and sad this few months, i hope that my future wouldn't be like tis, but to find someone who can really understand me and care for me..

Too much things to say.. 2.50am

Aw man!!! lots n lots of things to say.. heart pain? stress? confused? emptied? disappointed? sad? haiz i really donno which.. feeling damn down tis few days.. quarreling with sister and donno who to talk to.. stress at home, stress at work, stress in relationship.. y everything muz come together?? luckily still have some friends to to pull me up if not i donno wat am i going to do.. thx for the balloon though tt person wont noe .. and thx bell for cheering me up..

Y i need to lead tis kinda life?? i hate to be born here.. y do i have tis kinda father.. i really donno wat to do when he scolded me ytd.. was so hurt and tears can't stop rolling down.. no matter wat i m also her daughter.. haiz y cant be fair?? same thing, when he need help i m there.. i m always there for ppl who need help but y is there NO PPL TO BE THERE FOR ME????? why i it so unfair all the time? ppl don't appreciate wat u do for them!! How to be an emotionless person could someone teach me? tired of living... what i can say is who i can trust the most and love the most will be my mum, nobody else.. though mother is irritating and crassy sometimes but no matter what happen, she will be the correct person to turn to.. tired of crying.. little things can make me cry..haiz.. beside my mum, where is my true prince?? =(