THings wouldn't be the same.. 4.30am

Now i realised that no matter what things is done, it won't be so easily to erase it away anymore.. months & months have pass.. forever the pain will follow me.. nothing can amend.. =(

juz like the how those drama show once hurt, tt person won't be so easily forget things tt hurt her deeply till someone who really can care just like a guardian there to show concern for her.. my tears just like a water pipe, whenever u wan it to be on,it will be on and it will flow.. i cant control it.. 7 days more to my BD.. i can predict tt it will never be as happy as my 18th &19th birthday... everything have change..y is it like tt.. i don really wish to celebrate.. if i got the money, i would go oversea to be alone.. this blog is just like my diary.. whenever i m sad or happy i will write it here as no one will see it.. i just find it hard to tell someone.. what i know is i felt very hurt inside me...

*Pondering* 2.05am

Hiaz.. juz feel like blogging today.. cuz i feel so empty and nobody to talk to.. 21st birthday coming liao.. i still donno what i want.. its 2st lei!!! y don i have the mood... =( if i got a chance, i would rather celebrate it oversea to take in some fresh air.. leading my life so miserably... donno what i can do.. i just wat to be happy and cheerful everyday.. where am i?? i m lost..

It would be great if the time can goes back and i might chose a different route.. its too late to regret now.. whenever i think of the saddest things it will my my heart ache... is there anybody can pull me out?? pull me out to somewhere which i can clear my trouble... very tired of feeling unhappy.. i really need a long break.. y is it so many things happen on me and stall all in my mind to upset me.. wan to cry sia... =( Sometimes i really want to use alcohol to make myself asleep but that not the way.. after tt incident, i will try to control myself already..

I wish to cry out LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!