THings wouldn't be the same.. 4.30am

Now i realised that no matter what things is done, it won't be so easily to erase it away anymore.. months & months have pass.. forever the pain will follow me.. nothing can amend.. =(

juz like the how those drama show once hurt, tt person won't be so easily forget things tt hurt her deeply till someone who really can care just like a guardian there to show concern for her.. my tears just like a water pipe, whenever u wan it to be on,it will be on and it will flow.. i cant control it.. 7 days more to my BD.. i can predict tt it will never be as happy as my 18th &19th birthday... everything have change..y is it like tt.. i don really wish to celebrate.. if i got the money, i would go oversea to be alone.. this blog is just like my diary.. whenever i m sad or happy i will write it here as no one will see it.. i just find it hard to tell someone.. what i know is i felt very hurt inside me...

*Pondering* 2.05am

Hiaz.. juz feel like blogging today.. cuz i feel so empty and nobody to talk to.. 21st birthday coming liao.. i still donno what i want.. its 2st lei!!! y don i have the mood... =( if i got a chance, i would rather celebrate it oversea to take in some fresh air.. leading my life so miserably... donno what i can do.. i just wat to be happy and cheerful everyday.. where am i?? i m lost..

It would be great if the time can goes back and i might chose a different route.. its too late to regret now.. whenever i think of the saddest things it will my my heart ache... is there anybody can pull me out?? pull me out to somewhere which i can clear my trouble... very tired of feeling unhappy.. i really need a long break.. y is it so many things happen on me and stall all in my mind to upset me.. wan to cry sia... =( Sometimes i really want to use alcohol to make myself asleep but that not the way.. after tt incident, i will try to control myself already..

I wish to cry out LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!

blablabla...

Hmmm tis few days accompany my dear dear cuz he juz got an accident.. poor him.. haha!! haiz have been quarreling ever since he ORD.. sometimes did thot of giving up as alot of things happen.. haiz.. donno wat to say and in the beginning i have drink alot juz to let myself sleep better. well, in the end need to see doctor cuz i drank too much.. after tat i don drink so far cuz scare liao haha.. juz hope tat he would change and wont make me sad again.. if not he will not be sorry =x

:)

hmmmm... been so long since i last blog again... tis few weeks were so down as something happen at my workplace... sian lei.. don feel like working there anymor liao, but i will really miss the kids alot!!!lucky during end of july me and my dear went for chalet at sentosa to relax ourselves.. sad ar.. who can understand how i feel.. now i rather work at GAP batter.. miss all the GAPsters!! haiz.. wan to cry liao!!! :(

Very sad...

Aiyo.. tis few days i just feel like crying.. very sad and stress.. so much things has happen and i donno y.. i really wanted to have some time for me to be alone.. i cant take it anymore!! i wanna go bali!! i wan to go there and relax myself as all the people there are stranger to me.. wish everything can refresh and start all over again.. alot of why in my life.. sad!! why is my life like tis??

Don wanna let my mind sleep... 1.50am

Just want to write what i can rmb before everything is gone... It was so funny, today i almost overslept in the train as i was dreaming while listening to mp3.. rmb how i met 'u'... rmb that i will go down to mac and find u when i m free.. u were even sleeping in the storeroom and donno that i m there and watch u sleeping so soundly.. funny was everything that flashed in my mind were the happy moment.. went to movie which i donno is a set up by who and how i scold u.. =) Forever u won't know how i pass that 2 years w/out u beside me when i m down, when its valentine's day and all he holidays... luckily i m independent enough, didn't rely on anyone and never ever blame whoever...

I m sure that the coming chal wont be the same as before.. I was wondering what to do.. i have always thot that i have found something precious to me already but i can't confirm now.. i hope to gather all the good memories to cover the bad ones but is difficult.. those good memories is starting to fade away slowly from my memories.. Gonna turn 21 and i donno wat i want yet.. though i m feeling very miserable, down and sad this few months, i hope that my future wouldn't be like tis, but to find someone who can really understand me and care for me..

Too much things to say.. 2.50am

Aw man!!! lots n lots of things to say.. heart pain? stress? confused? emptied? disappointed? sad? haiz i really donno which.. feeling damn down tis few days.. quarreling with sister and donno who to talk to.. stress at home, stress at work, stress in relationship.. y everything muz come together?? luckily still have some friends to to pull me up if not i donno wat am i going to do.. thx for the balloon though tt person wont noe .. and thx bell for cheering me up..

Y i need to lead tis kinda life?? i hate to be born here.. y do i have tis kinda father.. i really donno wat to do when he scolded me ytd.. was so hurt and tears can't stop rolling down.. no matter wat i m also her daughter.. haiz y cant be fair?? same thing, when he need help i m there.. i m always there for ppl who need help but y is there NO PPL TO BE THERE FOR ME????? why i it so unfair all the time? ppl don't appreciate wat u do for them!! How to be an emotionless person could someone teach me? tired of living... what i can say is who i can trust the most and love the most will be my mum, nobody else.. though mother is irritating and crassy sometimes but no matter what happen, she will be the correct person to turn to.. tired of crying.. little things can make me cry..haiz.. beside my mum, where is my true prince?? =(

Blurr.. 1.15am

haiz... so long since i last blog.. i find myself change alot, maybe is good? mayb is bad? i donno.. i have become more emotionless.. no more crying so much though i got lots of things hiding and didn't say out... Hope to have a place for me to be alone.. don wanna care abt wat's going on outside.. ppl are holding me high up and yet at the same time throw me down and i have enough.. i promise to be more independent n strong! WATCH ME! hmmmm... I CAN DO IT AND LOVE MYSELF MORE!!

Finally i'm done ^^ 3.05pm

Today i feel so tired.. i and my besties went to town to shop and eat.. aiyo.. i spend alot but donno what i spend on.. haiz today bought 2 cheese cake for my dear but 1 not nice, another 1 his fren oso got buy.. sad =( buy wrong thing.. damn it! Raining almost whole day today, spoil mood lor .. headache man!! hmmm... today will be my stress day!! argh!! k la free i will upload our photo =)wheeeeeeee~ steam bath tml! pooff!

No more rely~

Today i enjoy myself very much as the C4 finally meet up again after donno how many years liao.. we went to cineleisure for dinner and movie.. we watch 'dance subaru' quite nice and touching.. =) after talking to them i realised alot of things.. i wont rely on anyone anymore.. erm.. i should say the FOUR of us won't rely on anyone anymore.. Thx alot gals .. i have learn my lesson from u all.. Hope we can meet up soon again..

Disappointment~ 1.22am

Haiz... few days nv write liao.. today so boring whole day staying at home.. tis few days juz wan to be alone.. just like ytd, i went out wit my fren until very late den we went to plaza sing to watch movie.. i was like paying money to sleep inside .. don really have the mood to watch.. ytd i watch the land of the lost again with my fren.. but still i laugh like crassy during that show.. after the show we went bck separately.. I walk down orchard road by myself so i pass by centrepoint and i miss working there with some of my frens and tink of last time how my bf used to wait for me to finish work.. he will bring along his psp to play.. hahaz... when i look opposite, i see orchard centre where he is working now.. den i think of how he change.. i couldn't get his attention anymore.. he is kinda busy with alot of things.. Feel sad when i pass by and i decided to walk slowly...

When i reach cineleisure, remind mi that we go shopping tgt.. till there i m very exhausted already so i went to look for taxi.. juz nice reach yt 20bucks.. i wan to keep myself busy to stop mi from thinking so many things.. hmmm.. looking forward to wed & thurs can meet new kids.. haiz.. donno wat to do and how to solve my prob.. feel so sad and disappointed..

1.30am Ice-cream waffles~~

Yawnssss!! so tired but i wanna blog for today first ^^ hahaaha!! today so slack at work.. no lesson no nid to scold scold them.. =) today so bored until i got time to take photo of myself(as on the above).. hehex .. today after work i and my dear pack some food to eat at his house and we went to Ntuc, i bought waffles and ice-cream to make waffles ice-cream for him.. It was so nice but shit lor! i forget take photo.. ARGH!!! nvm next time i take.. hahaha..See him eat until so happy i oso happy.. Hope he like it! hehex.. Dear i will still go check out some nice stuff and make for u k.. =) Haiz.. tink gonna fall sick soon as my mouth got ulcer sia.. sad.. k la.. too sleepy liao.. ciaos.. =p

1.23am Treasure it!

Today was abit shag and tired cuz today i need to conduct fun with cooking with the kids, teach them how to make cup corn and bundung..pengz after everything finish all teachers zhao sia den i clean up all alone washing the cups and bowls..zzzzz..hmm nvm lucky tml no lesson can slack liao.. wahahaha!! few days back i read pei yi's few years back de blog.. walao.. ya i indeed change alot.. i m sorry if i m xiao qi and mean last time..=) after reading her blog it remind mi alot of past~ true tat i don like marshmallows.. wahahha.. lucky xxx noes.. after work today my dear come down to fetch mi and we went for dinner at causeway and we eat at mos burger.. after eating we went for our movie.. ( the movie tt i wanted to watch!!! Land of the Lost..) laugh till i peng man!! damn funny... Although we spend a very short evening tgt.. i will treasure every moment with you no matter how short and i will rmb everything inside my mind... =) Time passes fast.. hope it can slow down.. i still need some time!! k la tt all for today.. let show u how the pig eat! LMAO!!! =x

1.19am lalala~Everyday seems different..

Hahaha.. today quite slack at work, so realx only play boardgames with the kids whole day.. today eat waffle ice cream for teabreak!! so nice.. must make myself one day and eat!!! BUT sian sia.. tml still muz work mac.. so boring.. today i went Hula&co bought 1 top and 1 so call dress.. my hands are so ithcy..hahaz no choice la they got sales so i went in..lmao! today went out with my frens, we have dinner tgt and chit chat.. hmm all of us reach home so late.. thx to someone.. the whole day no time to help mi take helmet.. 2nd is, tink his house no spare de..alot more~~=.= haha.. forget it.. nth to say.. use to it.. bo xin means bo xin one.. no need so much excuses.. wahahaha.. hope tml can go on cruise after work to relax~~ wheeee...

Yawnss... 2.25am Hello & Bye

Aiyo.. today so damn tired at work.. so ke lian sia today mi whole days managing the kids alone.. around 30 plus students lei, wan to faint liao lor and cum today they sibei irritating sia! Then almost the end of the day still need to move tables and chairs, den lay mattresses somemore, cuz tml is the students who can play for the whole day(Pyjamas Day).. today still the same~ my mood donno go whr.. Haiz.. wondering what am i thinking again~~ Hope to go out soon!!! argh!! wahahahz now trying to plan a chalet with frens to relax myself and enjoy.. hmmm.. tis sat maybe going for cruise.. feel like going in the cruise to see see look look.. Aiya bf.. nth to tok abt n donno wat to tok oso.. He is a busy man.. tink sometimes he oso can forget me.. LMAO.. so ENVY the others.. =x Yes!! Land of the Lost movie out liao.. gonna watch that soon.. that trailer laugh until i peng man!k la tired liao gonna sleep..